Another reason to dislike my ex-wife!

I don't care what ALGORE says, I'm not living with her!

In this article titled "Divorced Couples Contributing to Global Warming!" scientists, at least research students in need of work, concluded that divorce contributes to global warming because...

The new report shows divorced couples utilize more areas inside their homes. This effectively means there are 38 million more rooms to provide lighting, heating, and cooling for. Do your math correctly and you will see this works out to 73 billion extra kilowatt-hours of electricity.

Now I don't know how many of those connected to the study have been, or are, curently married, but I can assure you that when my ex was living with me, we spent so much time in seperate rooms, that being married, or not being married mattered very little.

Interestingling enough, the failed to mention that most men who are married to nags spend most of their time in sports bars. I wonder what the laundry list of eco-unfriendliness is for sports bars?!

The study also shows that when they live separately, they tend to use up 627 billion gallons of water more than they would if they had stayed together in 2005. The logic behind the calculations is simple. Being divorced and staying separate effectively means having two sets of the same things – from the plates to the SUVs.

Well, ya! I mean, that's part of the deal! However, isn't this all a moot point? I mean, most men find a young blonde to shack up with, while ex-wives get involved with guys that have tatoos on their necks and go by the name snake?

Again, in all seriousness, it's studies like these that make you want to pull your hair out. They're meaningless. You're not going to stop divorce, period. And one man's trash in another man's treasure; the carbon production of divorce will be offset by you ex's marriage to some other poor slob who prior to your divorce was enjoying himself in a sports bar.

I can see it now, "We would like to get divorced your honor." "O.K., but it's going to cost you 400 carbon credits." Sigh.

Divorced Couples Contributing to Global Warming!
by Daisy Sarma
December 4, 2007